Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Dragon Ball Kai ep 59 - A Pair Who Give Off No Presence! The Artificial Humans Appear

Episode sources

Story
"Hey Kuririn! Why the long face?"
"Because we're about to fight murderous robots, I'm 31 years old, and I've died more times than I've had sex with a woman."


After a solemn flight from Mt. Paozu to the island Trunks told Goku about three years ago, our heroes arrive and meet up with Tenshinhan, Yamcha, and Bulma as they await the imminent appearance of the Artificial Humans. But Son Goku only has eyes for one little Z Warrior.

"Aww, hey Trunks! Ain't you cute?!"
"I've seen your dick."
"... what the fuck, Son-kun."

After revealing that Yamcha and Bulma broke up, and that Bulma was almost immediately carrying the baby of the next closest male (Vegeta), Yamcha and the others openly wonder if the robits are actually planning on showing up. Instead, Yajirobe shows up.

"Hey. I brought you Senzu from Karin."
"Awesome! You gonna help us fight?!"
"Uh huh. Because I totally want to get blown up."
"Dumbass."
SFX: Explosion.
"Well... I'm not gonna say he didn't deserve it."
"Fuck... you..."


Suddenly, Yajirobe is blown out of the sky, yet our heroes feel no ki from the attackers! Gohan figures that's probably because they're robits, and robits don't have ki.

Which would have been awesome to know ahead of time.

Without ki to sense, the Z Team has to leap into the city below and look with their eyes and ears, the old fashioned way. A staggering challenge, as surely two such deadly mechanical assassins built by one of the world's most accomplished scientists, with the express purpose of revenge of Son Goku, would be made to blend in. Instead of, y'know, where the sort of garish outfits you might expect to see carnies wear.

Oh.

Artificial Humans #19, or The World's Fattest Mime, and Artificial Human #20, or The World's Second Oldest Man With a Shitty Earring (after Harrison Ford), appear as Trunks said they would. But what he didn't say is that they seem to be specifically targeting men with mustaches.

"My 'stache shall not be challenged."

Soon, the mechanical duo run into, who else, but Yamcha.

"You ever thought about growing a mustache?"
"Um, excuse me?"
"Trick question."


Goku and the others arrive just in time for Yamcha to almost bleed out.

"If you wanna fight, let's go somewhere without a population!!"
"Stage fright? I get it."
"Laser vision."
"WHAT THE FUCK"
SFX: Conk.
"Nobody likes a Smart Alec."

And so Son Goku and the Z Team must face against these two obscenely powerful, and strangely literal, Artificial Humans. Seems pretty straight forward and a little exciting! I can't see this storyline falling completely off the rails!



Oh well. Enjoy these glorious early '90s apocalyptic anime visuals.

Aww yeah.

What's cut?
In DBZ episode 126, we see Doc as a proud grandpa who builds Trunks nightmarish toys.

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