The Dragon Blog: Dragon Ball Super ep 1 - The Peace Reward -- Who Will Get The 100 Million Zeni?!

Four years ago, Son Goku and his friends fought in the deadliest battle of their lives, against the wicked Majin Boo. Though it was a long and fraught conflict, in the end, thanks to the Dragon Balls, they were able to win peace for the whole world.

"Thank you, Dragon Balls!"

Today.

"...I miss Majin Boo."

Goku's life in a world of peace has become an endless grind. For the last four years, thanks to his father-in-law's waning wealth, and his own lack of job skills, the strongest man under the heavens spends his days grinding out a small living on his radish farm. (Yes, the same one from Yo!, which I guess makes that special canon to Super?) He looks genuinely morose for the first time since he thought he had been forced to kill Freeza, as his beat up old tracker trundles down Son Gohan's land, once rich with wildlife, now hard and barren.

(It's a metaphor for this franchise.)

But luckily, his day is momentarily saved thanks to Goten bringing him his lunch.

So Goku puts the kiddo in charge of the massive heavy equipment (hardly the most dangerous thing he's ever asked him to do) while he chows down. And since Goten is already in the driver's seat...

Goku decides to get in some training!

... which consists of... punching holes... in the ground?

(Wouldn't it solve all your problems if you just did your work the Turtle Hermit way?)

But while Goku finds himself distracted punching the shit out of Mother Earth, Goten takes a tumble.

(Oops.)

You, uh, gonna swoop in and save him, Piccolo?

"...Naaah."

Thankfully, Goku is paying attention, teleporting himself over to grab the tracker before Goten can break it. (Oh yeah and I guess save Goten too sure.)

"Goten, stop slacking off while I slack off."

Goten asks his dad about the training he's doing, and Goku explains his thinking to him.

"Even though we've been at peace for four years, somebody strong like Majin Boo could show up any day now, and it'd be up to me to fight them."

"The last time bad guys showed up me and Trunks beat them up while goofing off, so I don't think that's likely."

"who the fuck asked your opinion, bitch"

Goku opines that he'd rather train at Kaio-sama's, but Chichi has forbidden him.

"If you even so much as say the word 'Kaio'"

"...I'll cut ya dick off."

That same day, Mr. Satan is being award the Peace Prize of 100 Million Zeni (hey, it's like the episode title) for saving the world from... something. (Nobody knows what because they all had their memory of Majin Boo erased, but they're all pretty sure it was some kind of space invader.)

(Or maybe it was just Garlic Jr. again.)

So Satan does Kung Fu poses for their enjoyment.

(oh waddup Miss Pizza and Caroni)

Elsewhere in Satan City, Gohan and Videl are hanging out. They're not doing anything interesting. Videl bought Gohan a book. Gohan still wants to be some kind of vague academic. They have a talk about finances. Gripping stuff. (You two were one of the major highlights of the last 92 episodes of DBZ... why do I get the feeling you aren't going to do shit in this show...?)

(~~Maybe because they didn't do shit in GT, either~~)

oh also Piccolo stalks them

the fuck, dude

Later on in the day, Goten is hanging out with Trunks, trying to decide what kind of gift he should get his new sister-in-law. That's right. Gohan and Videl got married. Off-screen. Because what kind of show would find it interesting to have a build up to a wedding mini arc?

Oh, that's right. Fucking all of them.

(Even this show, back when competent people were writing it.)

Anyway, Goten isn't sure what to get Videl, so Trunks remembers how much his mom likes lotion.

"Jeez... am I really all out of lotion again already? I wonder where it's all going...?"

"uuhnnnn, Kakarotto..."

So it's off to the beauty supply store, where they run into their first problem: Goten doesn't have enough pocket money to afford expensive boutique beauty products. Luckily, they learn from an old man, who's also not keen on their prices, of a hot spring where even an old crone can get silky smooth skin.

He's also the only character the animators bothered to animate this episode.

The boys fly for a bit in the direction the animated old man said when, at last, they come upon the hot springs. But there's a problem.

"That water's full of gross old people."

Trunks leads the way to a beautiful stream just up ahead

...but guarding that stream is The Eyebrow Snake.

(He's a snake... with eyebrows.)

Despite being super powered kiddos, the Eyebrow Snake is actually a tough opponent for Goten and Trunks; Keeping them away from taking water from the stream with his massive muscular form.

So Goten decides to blow him away with the first Kamehameha of Dragon Ball Super!

"Wait, Goten, don't do that! It'll be cool and useful! Hold the jug instead!"

You had one fucking job, Goten.

One fucking job.

Trunks kicks it into gear as he attacks the Eyebrow Snake with his full might

beating him so hard, he really his Vegeta's son.

"uuuhnnnnn, gonna fuggin cuuum"

After defeating the Eyebrow Snake and getting their jug of river water, Goten and Trunks bring their gift to Videl, thinking it's as good or better than expensive lotion.

Videl realizes that it's just water but humors them anyway.

and I'm not gonna lie but this scene legit makes me tear up

Goten returns home, where Goku congratulates him on his first successful side quest that didn't result in Broly showing up.

...or did it?

Mr. Satan arrives with the full sum of his 100 Million Zeni winnings. As he's already filthy rich from being a massive sellout, and Vegeta is married to the richest woman on the planet, Mr. Satan feels it's only right that Goku should receive the full reward for their team effort against Majin Boo.

But Son Goku is a Socialist and doesn't believe any one man should have that much wealth.

Goten convinces Goku to fold on his political beliefs so that he can quit his boring day job and go back to being a martial arts bum, and Goku reluctantly agrees.